Movie Ad of the Week: ZATOICHI, THE BLIND SWORDSMAN w/ I CROSSED THE COLOR LINE (1974)

Here we have two disparate movies that were a decade old when paired for this New York City double bill in the mid-'70s. ZATOICHI, THE BLIND SWORDSMAN is the dubbed U.S. release version of ZATOICHI ON THE ROAD (1963), the fifth entry in the long-running Japanese swordplay series starring Shintarô Katsu, while I CROSSED THE COLOR LINE is a re-titling of THE BLACK KLANSMAN (1966), a Joe Solomon production directed by Ted V. Mikels and featuring Max Julien (The Mack!), James McEachin (Tenafly!) and Whitman Mayo (Grady!) in the cast.

Guest Review: ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES (1977)

It's an honor and a privilege to have former Variety reporter/editor Lawrence Cohn with us today for this very special installment of Guest Reviews.  Readers unfamiliar with "Lor" are urged to delve into the volumes of Variety Film Reviews for the years when he was venturing into the roughest, toughest New York-area theaters to 
review down 'n' dirty flicks like SHOCKING CANNIBALS, BLIND RAGE, BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z, CEMETERIO DEL TERROR, MY FRIENDS NEED KILLING, MONSTER SHARK, TRAP THEM AND KILL THEM, LA MARCA DEL HOMBRE LOBO, and CHESTY ANDERSON, US NAVY for the weekly industry trade paper.  Here he is with a new review of the
Ted V. Mikels polygamy propaganda pic...

  

Alex Joseph and

His Wives

(COLOR)
__________

Stillborn portrait of a free spirit.
__________

An American Republic Pictures Corp. release of a William Edward Thrush production. Executive producer, Thrush. Produced and directed by Ted V. Mikels. Screenplay, Thrush, Alex Joseph, Mikels; camera (Movelab color), Nickolas Von Sternberg; editor, Mikels; music, Nicholas Carras; production manager, John Curran. Reviewed on Shocking Videos DVD-R, N.Y., November 1, 2011. (No MPAA rating). Running time: 100 MINS.
Nora Grady................................................Undein Hampton
Sheriff Skinner........................................Noble “Kid” Chissell
F.D.A. Man, Perkins.....................................Tommy Simmons
F.B.I. Man, Wood..........................................Beau Billingslea
Motel Manager............................................Stuart Lancaster
Bobby Grey Fox.............................................Billy White Bird
Bar Troublemaker...........................................Patrick Wright
Car Rental Agent...........................................George Costello
Assassin....................................................Steve Blackmore
Special appearances: Danny Scholl, Edmon Kaiser, Jim Gillings
Also with: Alex Joseph and his wives (Dale, Margaret, Leslie, Lorraine, Carmen, Joanie, Pamela, Judy, Paulette, Melinda, Kitty, Carla) and Pius Whirlwind Soldier

__________

Ted V. Mikels’ loyal following of admirers who enjoy his horror and action films might be a bit puzzled at this rather flat biopic of one Alex Joseph, a polygamist and libertarian whose heyday was over 3 decades ago. Since Mikels shares Joseph’s fondness for the harem-lifestyle it was a natural project but emerges as propaganda rather than entertainment.

Because Joseph stars as himself and contributed to the screenplay (with Mikels and the film’s exec producer/instigator William Thrush), we’re treated to a typical ego trip. The wives (over a dozen) play themselves and are all attractive, though without acting skills. Mikels began his career with sexploitation pictures but this project emerges squeaky clean.

Alex’s run-ins with the government are depicted in mainly tongue-in-cheek terms. He’s the heroic outsider with a familiar “don’t tread on me” philosophy, and the minions of Order are buffoons, notably an FDA inspector trying in vain to meet up with Alex and inspect his ginseng health food operations. Paralleling many a latter-day reactionary right up through the Tea Party Movement, Joseph takes an extreme stance, belittling the state’s failed attempts to collect sales tax at the diner he owns, for example.

Mikels employs several actors to supplement the real-life protagonists, including soft porn talent like Stu Lancaster, wasted as a local motel manager delivering some exposition, and Patrick Wright, typecast as a male chauvinist barfly with rape on his mind.

Worst casting choice is the unappealing Undine Hampton in the key role of Nora Grady, a British journalist for a women’s magazine, interviewing Alex and his ménage. She doesn’t even try for any sort of British accent, and is mannishly styled, with clear lesbian tendencies. Ultimately she is merely a mouthpiece/structural peg in order to feed the viewer information about the goofy Alex Joseph. Film’s climax is a “surprise” marriage, and I was hoping that it would be hers (illogical as that would be), but no such luck.

Film’s nadir is reached when Joseph attends a Constitutionalist convention of like-minded nutcases, who each get up and mount their particular soapbox to rant about how our government crushes free spirits. If they had included people like David Koresh, Charles Manson (I couldn’t resist name-dropping him) or Jim Jones it might have held some historical interest, but these folks, like Alex, are minor league cranks whose nutsy world views are not even interesting enough to make the cut in some Mondo documentary.

Major subplot has to do with Joseph’s many Native American friends, who naturally share with him a dislike of the U.S. government for so often mistreating them and their forebears over the centuries. I was far more interested in their problems than those of our self-appointed Major Domo Alex, further detracting from the film’s intended impact.

Occasional comic relief is clumsy, notably Alex’s “funny” racism regarding a Black FBI agent on his case, or his sitting there reading Abbie Hoffman’s Steal This Book in an idle moment.

My take on Joseph, who is comically described in the end credit crawl as being in Hollywood working on movie projects (no takers after this fiasco, however), is unclear, since he obviously has enough charisma to win over a couple of dozen young women to the point of mindless adoration (end credits indicate that many of his wives are separated, however, by May '77) yet comes off onscreen as a big nothing. The communal life style depicted here was the rage in the ‘60s and still of minor interest today, but Joseph’s polygamous version, defended earnestly by the wives, is boring and strictly self-aggrandizing. - Lor.

Movie Ad of the Week: ALEX JOSEPH AND HIS WIVES (1977)

World Premiere: June 22, 1977 - Provo, UT

Read the Lawrence Cohn review here!

Movie Ad of the Week: SEDUCE AND DESTROY w/ ANGELS' BRIGADE (1982)

The Aaron Spelling/Leonard Goldberg series CHARLIE'S ANGELS enjoyed three wildly successful seasons on ABC before the ratings went south at the start of the fourth, mostly in response to the departure of Kate Jackson (whose Sabrina Duncan character was certainly our favorite Angel). The show ran for another two seasons but was gone from prime time for almost a year when this cash-in double feature rolled into six Atlanta-area theaters on March 12, 1982. Ironically, SEDUCE AND DESTROY is a retitling of Ted V. Mikels' THE DOLL SQUAD (1973), the snail-paced tale of an all-girl commando team's mission to stop a rogue government agent from stealing U.S. missiles, which Mikels claimed for years was the uncredited blueprint for the Spelling/Goldberg show (One of the characters is even named Sabrina). The second feature, Greydon Clark's ANGELS' BRIGADE (a.k.a. SEVEN FROM HEAVEN) -- about seven young women in a customized van who wage war against drug dealers led by Peter Lawford and Jack Palance -- was sold as a CHARLIE'S ANGELS knock-off when first released in 1979, but it also predates the hit TV show. Announced in the trades in January 1973 as a blaxploitation film titled SEVEN SOUL SISTERS, it was originally to star R&B singer Ginji James in the role that eventually went to leading lady Susan Kiger (Playboy's Miss January 1977), and Aldo Ray as a corrupt cop in business with the drug dealers.

The Endangered List (Case File #43)

EDEN CRIED (1967)

Produced and directed
by Alex Kolis

Written by
Fred Johnson

Director of Photography
Ted V. Mikels

Starring
Carole Holland
Tom Pace
Victor Izay

MPAA rating: GP (1971)
Film may have been shot as early as 1965
World premiere: Ritz Theatre in Newburgh, NY (June 7th, 1967)
Released by Continental Distributing
a.k.a. IN THE FALL OF '55, EDEN CRIED

PLOT
(from the pressbook)

IN THE FALL OF '55, EDEN CRIED surrounds two high school students, who fall in love, get married and realize problems multiply, compared to their previous single life as carefree teenagers.

Tom Pace, plays the lovable boy next door, Skip Garroway. Carole Holland, a blonde blue eyed MISS AMERICA FINALIST, portrays Lorraine Parker in an unforgettable role. They start out as classmates and end up married. During the interim the story unfolds fantastic cinematic WIDE SCREEN PHOTOGRAPHY from the love-ins at the beach, surfing and dancing to the music of '55. SCHOOL ROMANCES and SCHOOL FIGHTS were the thing.

On the way to a dance, via a secluded lover's lane, Skip is challenged to a DRAG RACE, he refuses, but accepts after the challenger repeats hearsay about his driving skills.

During the DRAG RACE, his challenger is killed in a SPECTACULAR RACE, that would REMIND THE AUDIENCE OF "BULLITT" and "VANISHING POINT."

The heartbroken couple is split up by their parents after the tragedy. During this sad split up friends of theirs arrange different dates, they switch partners down the road, thus reuniting Skip and Lorraine on the way to Malibu a famous "In" spot for beach parties in '55.

These inseparable lovers get married, to the shock of their parents and friends paving the hard road for THE DROP OUT and THE GRADUATE's life ahead.

IN EVERYONE'S LIFE THERE'S A PLACE for "IN Eden Cried."

The Szurek Zone: BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS

Alternate titles have reputedly been ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS, ORGY OF THE SHE-BEASTS, BLOOD LUST OF THE SHE DEVILS and BLOOD OF THE SHE-BEASTS, but none of those have been utilized very often, and in most areas it's known as BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS. Made for about $10 in 1972 by Ted V. Mikels, the man behind such blockbusters as THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES, THE CORPSE GRINDERS, THE DOLL SQUAD and THE BLACK KLANSMAN, it was given such a spotty and elongated release that it was not widely seen until almost ten years later. In the Detroit area, it waited nearly that long before going direct to drive-ins as part of a five unit special also consisting of NIGHTMARE IN BLOOD, BLOODEATERS (known on video as TOXIC ZOMBIES and as I understand re-issued to a handful of theaters under that title) and re-releases of BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS and INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS.

Shot against paper-mache backdrops with a cast that keeps stumbling over its lines, some of the worst background music in years, a camera that is often unfocused and choreography that makes this look like a deliberate spoof, BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS is by no means a landmark moment for the silver screen. But the script, also by Mikels, shows surprising "so-so with good elements" potential only to be knocked on its butt by precedent-setting ineptitude and an apparent unwillingness to do it in more than one take, thespians who make it painfully obvious that they don't take their vehicle serious at all and a director who seems to have enjoyed "writing" it, but evidently fell into a coma about actually putting it on film. The dancing girls at the ritual look like go-go performers. The bongo playing "Black Token" sounds as if he's doing low-grade soul music. At least two members of the cast don't even bother to conceal their contempt for the material. Lila Zaborin as head witch Mara NEVER displays acting skill, but climbs embarrassingly far out on a limb during a "séance" sequence in which -- apparently losing sight for a moment that is not "supposed to" be a comedy -- she strains very hard for camp. Tom Pace, the incompetent non-entity who was the hero of THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES and is the hero again in this (only here he's unconvincingly passed off as a forty year-old college student), repeatedly breaks into supercilious, smartass grins at the most inappropriate moments and doesn't try to hide or muffle them. Considering his almost nonexistent acting ability, and his totally nonexistent charisma, this is the oven calling the kettle black. The meandering script occasionally dips into a tangent that looks like it's going to remain an integral portion of the plot – only to fade into limbo fifteen minutes later and one of these tangents is a feud between underground figures and "occult" ones. Mara is even murdered during this feud, comes back to life, the murderers are quickly done in my magic, and then...the whole shmeer is forgotten about. Things like this ultimately give the flick a nagging sense of pointlessness.

To his credit, Mikels laces the "action" with a focus on occult "details" – so much so that it eventually looks like a semi-documentary. And even more to his credit, as a one-time student of demonology, I was surprised by the impressive accuracy. He obviously did his homework, and was probably a practitioner or at least a student, himself at the time this was made, or BLOOD ORGY has been envisioned as exploitation for esoterica buffs. This doesn't make it a good movie, though, and 'tis a pity Mikels hadn't a quarter the expertise at filmmaking.

Briefly, Mara is a Southern California professional medium/tarot card reader/psychic adviser/astrologist. Well, those are her legitimate fronts anyway, as she projects an image of harmless eccentricity, of a con artist, at the very worst. Behind closed doors, she practices memory regression on her female clients, all of whom seemingly were executed for witchcraft in a former life and upon learning this are eager to join her cult of men-sacrificers and demon-summoning hopefuls. Mara, who's aided by a weird bearded male servant named Tourke, also operates a psychic hit man service, which is how she gets in hot water with the underworld, but after pulling a single job, she – or Mikels – seems to forget about it. Co-ed Lorraine has been following the career of Mara and, somehow convinced that the latter is not a fraud, drags boyfriend Mark (Pace) to one of Mara's séances. Although an uninterested skeptic, Mark goes along out of lust. Now, he becomes interested and wondering if Mara is genuinely gifted with occult powers or is just an exceptionally good flim-flam lady. He consults a professor who dabbles in the Black Arts himself. In between the professor's lectures on both diabolism and paganism, we cut to sequences of Mara's activities. Finally, the couple's curiosity ebbs to the point where they agree to participate in one of Mara's age regressions. The professor learns they are pawns in a demon-conjuring ritual, and accompanied by a few "white witches" dashes to the rescue.

BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE DEVILS just escapes the "Good-Bad" label by not being quite strong enough in the "good" department. At least, invalids won't find it painful to watch, but that's as good as I can say.