Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Mystery Movies: THE SAVAGE RIDERS (1973) and TORNADO ON WHEELS (?)

THE SAVAGE RIDERS was submitted to the MPAA in 1973 (by Pioneer World Distributors) and received an R rating, but we have nothing for TORNADO ON WHEELS. We're hoping one of these turns out to be the elusive MOTORCYCLE MASSACRE.

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Endangered List (Case File #108)

A Harold Robbins presentation with a score by Quincy Jones? We want a copy! Rated PG by the MPAA in 1972, we know nothing more about YAO OF THE JUNGLE than what's revealed in the grainy newspaper ad above (from Long Beach, CA in 1972).

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Movie Ad of the Week: FAST WAY NOWHERE (1966)

Produced and distributed by Gospel Films of Muskegon, MI (now known as Gospel Communications International), this Christian JD/biker movie was still getting church bookings as late as 1980.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

State of the Temple Address 5

Hey guys & gals! Thank you, as always, for dropping by to say hi. A lot of you have been wondering where the heck we’ve been for the past month and a half. First of all, we appreciate all of the emails we’ve received inquiring about our health, financial state and general well-being, and we apologize if we haven’t had the time or energy to respond to them all in a reasonable fashion. We should've posted a simple "Be back soon!" or something else that would've set minds at ease, but we didn't, and our silence only fanned the flames of gossip. Yes, we’ve heard the rumors that have been circulating, so let’s put an end to one or two of the more eyebrow-raising ones that have come down the pike in the past 5 weeks. No, Po-Man was not Al Green’d into the emergency room by a crazy ex-girlfriend, nor was he shamed into seclusion by a certain pesky message board moderator who dared question your humble editor’s allegiances in a public forum a couple of months ago. You can also breathe easier knowing that we were not victims of Randy Quaid’s “star whacker” conspiracy, which may or may not have claimed the life of legendary Intervision Picture Corp. founder and president Larry Gold III earlier this year in Thailand. Nope, none of that.

So what the hell happened? Well, we took off on a month-long cross-country road trip back in April, and right about the time we were strolling into the Billy the Kid Museum in Fort Sumner, NM, we got a call from Quasi-Schlocko that all hell had broken loose back at the Temple. Instead of returning promptly to take care of business, we boldly (stupidly?) pushed on, hitting the Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City, Graceland and Stax and Sun Records in Memphis, the Buford Pusser Home & Museum in Adamsville, the Shiloh and Chickamauga battlefields, and a bunch of other places we'll post about eventually if we ever clear up the shitstorm that erupted in our absence and is still swirling around us.

The long and short of it: We have to move out of this Temple into a new Temple, so don't expect any kind of consistent posting from us until September, 'cause all the good stuff is boxed up and in storage.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Contest: Win the "Party Animals for Hire" comic book!

Our long-time pal Mike Wood, who’s determined to not become that guy Steely Dan is singing about in “What a Shame about Me,” has collaborated with artist Ed Suckling on a very entertaining comic book titled Party Animals for Hire, Part 1: The Net is Cast. From the back cover: “In their first collaboration since the international crowd-pleaser You. Me. Let’s Hug!, Ed Suckling and Mike Wood return to triumphant form with this biting satire that has everything you could conceivably want in a comic book, and possibly more. Movie stuntmen, courtroom mayhem, big hairy animals…it’s all here, including one helluva plucky heroine! But be warned…you might just end up caught in the net!”

Mike and Ed were nice enough to send us an extra copy of their book, so we’re going to have a drawing on the 4th of July and give it away to one lucky Temple of Schlock subscriber.

Contest rules? There’s only one: If you’re already following us on Blogger, you’ll automatically be entered, but anyone else who wants in on this action needs to either become one of our Worshippers (Followers) or drop us an e-mail that includes your name in the message area and "comic book contest" in the subject line. If Quasi-Schlocko picks your name out of the -- er, whatever hat, box or nearby bucket he's planning to use for this drawing -- we’ll contact you and ask for your mailing address so we can send the book out to you by the end of next week. Cool? OK, so get to it! Let's see some new faces at this party!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


The double bill of HOUSEWIFE'S DELIGHT and DIVORCEES ON THE LOOSE opened at two drive-ins in Elyria, OH on October 15th, 1982. They sound like West German sex comedies. All we have so far are the ads below.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Endangered List (Case File #107)


Sherry Miles
Mark Gottlieb
Sherry Bain
Marty Huston
Gwen Van Dam
Lou Epton
Diana Jones
Shelly Fisher
Choo Choo Collins
Borah Silver
Marjorie Bennett
Stan Rose

Directed by
Matt Cimber

Produced by
Harry Korshak

Screenplay by
Beth Keele

Music by
Tommy Oliver

An Allied Artists release

Running time: 81 minutes
MPAA rating: R