State of the Temple Address 3

We’ve been busy with other projects as well as a lot of personal crap for the past few months, and have been somewhat remiss in our posting here at the Temple, but we’re hoping to remedy that soon with a handful of new pieces that have been on the backburner for a while now. Call it the intrusion of reality; lately it seems every time we sit down to bang out a quick post, scan a few ads, or simply watch a friggin’ movie, someone drops a quarter into the jukebox and selects the number about taxes, death and trouble, and before we know it another week has come and gone. But hey, instead of wasting time writing about how there’s never enough time, let’s get down to business, shall we?

(Above) The line outside the Silent Movie Theatre on March 30th

First off, we would like to extend a great big “thank you” to everyone who showed up for the screening of THE NAME OF THE GAME IS KILL on March 30th at the Cinefamily/Silent Movie Theatre, a beyond-sold-out affair with folding chairs quickly set up in the aisles to accommodate late arrivals. It was a great time, and we’re extremely happy that so many of you came out to support this event. Big thanks to our special guests -– cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond, screenwriter Gary Crutcher, and composer Stu Phillips -- and filmmaker Joe Dante, who moderated the Q&A after the film.

(Above) Stu Phillips, Gary Crutcher, Vilmos Zsigmond, and Joe Dante

More big thanks to Hadrian Belove of the Cinefamily, who did the heavy lifting once Daniel Griffith and I located a 35mm print of the film, and thanks also to everyone at the George Eastman House who cut corners to make sure their print got to us by March 30th. Thanks also to Brian Quinn and Eric Caidin of the Grindhouse series at the New Beverly, who co-sponsored this special event with the Cinefamily, Ballyhoo Motion Pictures and Temple of Schlock, and Harry Guerro of Exhumed Films for providing the beautiful print of THE REINCARNATION OF PETER PROUD, the second feature of the evening (I'm very happy to report that more than half of the audience stuck around to watch it, too). Let’s also have a big round of applause for our friend Jim Healy at the George Eastman House, and also to Paul Rapp, who would’ve been another “special guest” if we had been able to secure a print of his film THE CURIOUS FEMALE as originally planned. Finally, my warmest thanks go to Daniel Griffith, Gary Crutcher and Bill Grefe, for allowing me to play D’Artagnon to their Three Musketeers for the past year and a half.


Never underestimate the power of ballyhoo. Daniel put together a sweet prize pack that consisted of a button (pictured above), a one-sheet reproduction and the “Pledge” card that was part of the film’s original ad campaign, and this went a long way in making what already was a really cool evening seem more like a special event. I stood at the entrance with Daniel and Brian Quinn and each of us handed out a different piece of the prize pack to the first 100 patrons who came through the door: Daniel distributed the one-sheets, I gave out the pledges -- instructing each ticketholder to sign it and swear not give away the film’s shock ending -- and Brian was on button duty. It’s always nice to feel like you’ve gotten an immediate return on your investment, and judging by the smiles I saw coming in that evening, these goodies really helped take the sting out of the $12 admission price. Daniel and I are planning to co-host another screening of the film in October or November at the George Eastman House, possibly on a double bill with PSYCH-OUT, and the prize pack will again be an integral part of the program. Stay tuned for more details.


Back in February we co-hosted (with Cultra DVD) a Friday night series of triple features on 35mm at the Cinefamily under the banner "The Art of Exploitation." We couldn't make it out to California for any of these shows unfortunately, but we're told they were a lot of fun. Below is a list of what was shown when.

2/4 - POOR PRETTY EDDIE, THE LONERS, and GIRL ON A CHAIN GANG
2/11 - FLESHPOT ON 42nd STREET, THE BODY BENEATH, and THE SINGLE GIRLS
2/18 - TEENAGE DIVORCEE, HONKY TONK NIGHTS, and TEENAGE TRAMP
2/25 - GAME SHOW MODELS, THE BOOB TUBE, and CHESTY ANDERSON, US NAVY


Our friend Jake Perlin, film curator at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, deserves a huge round of applause for organizing the recent Bill Gunn retrospective at BAM, which included the first public screening in 20 years (and only the second one in 40 years) of Gunn's ill-fated major studio production STOP (1970). Sadly, Warner Brothers couldn't (or wouldn't) provide BAM with a 35mm print, but co-star John Hoffmeister saved the day with his personal VHS copy, which was shown to a large, appreciative audience on Easter Sunday. Leading man Edward Bell was there and got up afterwards for an impromptu Q&A that went from informative to funny to downright weird, and Jake made sure everyone knew that the concession stand was fully stocked with copies of Gunn's long out-of-print novel Rhinestone Sharecropping, which loosely chronicles the making of this X-rated major studio head flick. Coming less than a week after our NAME OF THE GAME IS KILL screening at the Cinefamily, we thought this would pale in comparison, but instead it played out like the east coast equivalent in terms of excitement and overall enjoyment. Bravo, Jake!

(Above) Bill Gunn directs Linda Marsh and Edward Bell in STOP

Now we're gonna set the WABAC Machine to wayyyyyyy back in November '09 for our next long-awaited nod. Simply put, if you were within 10 miles of lower Manhattan on November 20th and you missed "A Night of 1,000 Dummy Deaths" at 92Y Tribeca, then you, my friend, are a dummy.


That's right, we called you a "dummy."


Plunging double dummy!


A great big dum-dum.


Nope, we're not finished with you yet, dummy!






A special presentation of Kevin Maher's monthly Kevin Geeks Out program, "A Night of 1,000 Dummy Deaths" was co-hosted by The Flying Maciste Brothers from Destructible Man, who for 2 solid hours came at us with film clips, special guests, cupcakes and fun, and I think the sharp, open-minded crowd actually learned a thing or two before it was done, hey hey hey.

Above: Kevin (not Marr) Maher of Kevin Geeks Out as Richard France in DAWN OF THE DEAD ("Dummies!")

Below: Kevin (not Maher) Marr and Howard S. Berger, a.k.a. The Flying Maciste Brothers

The program was such a big success and a kickass good time that I'm eager to see the Macistes take their show on the road -- so if you know of a venue near you that would be interested in doing a "Night of 1,000 Dummy Deaths," contact the Flying Maciste Brothers at destructibleman[at]gmail.com. The Dummyship may be landing in your town very soon, so don't miss the Connection!

Course, we've known the Macistes for nearly 20 years, so don't just take our word for it. Check out these other rave reviews:

Kevin Geeks Out

Love Train for the Tenebrous Empire


We have almost zero interest in reviewing new DVDs, but every so often a company will send us a screener to plug. We'll either forward it to Kris Gilpin to review or we'll try our hardest to string together a few of our own sentences of support for the product. About 8 months ago a very friendly young lady named Christy from Liberation Entertainment sent us a couple of DVDs that we were supposed to review, and instead we misplaced them somewhere in the Temple and never wrote a word about either one. Matter of fact, we got THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW before Fangoria received their screener of it, and we very nicely invited Mike Gingold over to the Temple for a showing so he could bang out a quick review for Fango (See, Christy? Sending us these discs wasn't a total loss!). Better late than never, we recommend both the special edition of THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (without giving the time of day to the remake) and the double feature DVD of Greydon Clark's hilarious UNINVITED w/ Bud Cardos' very entertaining MUTANT.



As many of you have noticed, sometime back in January our long-running "Lost and Still Not Found" series underwent a quick overnight facelift and emerged from the blood-soaked bandages as "The Endangered List."


We did this because, frankly, we were getting fed up with all the e-mails that were coming in questioning our definition of "lost." Instead of packing up our pressbooks and ad mats and going home in a snit, we asked a handful of trustworthy and respected colleagues to come up with a more accurate label for this otherwise very popular Temple feature, and our friend Lars Nilsen of the Alamo Drafthouse hit the nail on the head with "The Endangered List." So thank you, Lars, and when we finally make it to Austin, the first couple of beers are on us!


Unfortunately, nature abhors a vacuum, and not five minutes after we rid our inbox of one headache, another began to appear. A half dozen people have written to us asking if we can burn them copies of Tom Hanson's THE BIG SCORE. We've talked to Mr. Hanson several times since the review was posted and he's told us he never saw a dime for this movie. Because he still has the uncut version (A TON OF GRASS GOES TO POT), we wouldn't want to undermine a potential DVD deal by disseminating the truncated Australian VHS transfer. Besides, I know at least one of you will upload it to Cinemageddon within five seconds of receiving it. So the answer is no.


Oh, and before we go, one last thing: scratch seven more films from our list of 100+ No-Shows on Region 1 DVD:

CHANDLER (Warner Archives)


DEALING: OR THE BERKELEY-TO-BOSTON FORTY-BRICK LOST-BAG BLUES (Warner Archives)


THE LANDLORD (MGM/Amazon)


SANDS OF THE KALAHARI (Paramount/Olive Films)


SLITHER (Warner Archives)


THE TERMINAL MAN (Warner Archives)


TROPIC OF CANCER (Paramount/Olive Films)

The Olive titles should be out by September, the others are already available. Phew! We need a drink now. Peace out. 5/8/10

This Week on 42nd Street -- 1982

Here are the double and triple features that played the Deuce twenty-eight years ago this week. Theaters are listed in east-to-west order.

North Side of the Street

Rialto: [schedule unavailable]

Victory: DELICIOUS / SCENT OF HEATHER / FAT AND SWEET

Lyric: DOCTOR BUTCHER, MD / SLITHIS

Times Square: FASTEST FIST ALIVE / ENFORCER FROM DEATH ROW

Selwyn: DRAGON'S INFERNO / BLACK FIST


South Side of the Street

New Amsterdam: BRUCE LI VS. THE BROWN BOMBER / SHOGUN MASTERS

Cine 42
Theater 1: KUNG FU ZOMBIE / KUNG FU EXECUTIONER
Theater 2: RENEGADE MONK / TWO GRAVES TO KUNG FU

Harris: PARTNERS / PROPHECY

Liberty: LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER / BODY AND SOUL

Empire: MISSION KISS AND KILL / STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER / THE BODYGUARD

Anco: SOME KIND OF HERO / AIRPLANE!

The Endangered List (Case File #69)

THE LARDFATHER (1972)

Article by Merikaye Presley
(New Orleans Times-Picayune, DIXIE, November 19, 1972, p. 46-52)

It was early Sunday morning, and the sun had not yet penetrated the sky’s gray haze when long black Cadillacs approached the toll booths of the Mississippi River Bridge and deposited an assortment of threatening, sinister-looking characters.

They wore ‘40s-style suits, trenchcoats and broad-brimmed hats pulled low on foreheads. With Thompson submachine guns bulging under their coats and fat cigars protruding from their lips, they drew curious stares from motorists crossing the bridge.

The whole setting resembled a scene from “The Godfather” – precisely as intended. The Sunday “mobsters” belong to a group of local residents who are spending weekends filming their own version of the gangland smash hit, a satire which they have dubbed “The Lardfather.”

New Orleans attorney Anthony J. Russo, who is writer, director and producer of the amateur production, recruited a 150-member, predominantly Italian cast. “The categories of the cast are relatives, friends and clients,” he explained. Russo’s mother plays the Lardfather’s wife; his wife is Kay; uncles are Mafia family heads; and in-laws and friends portray a variety of “good and bad mobsters.”

Russo has two other films to his credit: “Dial D for Draw,” a take-off on murder mysteries, and “As the Worm Turns,” a soap-opera spoof.

The amateur movies started as a novel way to have a party, Russo said. He would film a movie including all his friends, then invite them to a gala world premiere to show it in final form.

His first two efforts also proved successful in raising some money for charitable causes, so Russo set out to film “The Lardfather,” his most elaborate production to date, with this end in mind.

Several Catholic charities have already asked to show the film for benefits when it is released next spring. Russo is planning a world premiere of the approximately two-hour film during Academy Award week in April, when “The Godfather” is expected to win several Oscars.

When Russo first saw “The Godfather,” he thought it would be the perfect target for a humorous satire. He saw the movie seven or eight times and wrote a script, jocularly following the sequence of “The Godfather,” but with an original ending. In Russo’s version, the Lardfather’s family name is Baccausa – Italian slang for a small, much-used room in the house – and the names of the other four families are all Italian ice creams – Spumoni, Taranchina, Tortoni and Cassati.

Russo purposely made only two complete copies of the script, so the members of the cast wouldn’t know all the punchlines in advance of the premiere date.

Russo’s friends were enthusiastic about the film and scoured their attics for the proper post-World War II clothing and effects. Many of the men and women in the cast bought new clothes which followed the revival of ‘40s styles and were appropriate for the movie.

One of the cast members, who owns a limousine service, provided Cadillac limousines for the outside shots and also loaned authentic Thompson submachine guns from his private collection.

Russo estimates that the film will cost $500 to produce, the bulk of that being film and processing costs. Incidentals, such as 20 rounds of ammunition expended at the police firing range to effect realistic closeup shooting scenes, added to the cost.

Filming began in the fall, and Russo worked first to complete all of the outside shots, such as the lavish wedding reception, before cool weather began. He hopes to finish all filming by the end of the year, then splice together the film and add sound tracks of dialogue, background music and sound effects.

Lining up locations to resemble those in “The Godfather” took some ingenuity, but Russo managed fairly well. A lakefront mansion was the site of the wedding reception, and the old Hotel Dieu hospital was where the felled Lardfather was cared for. A Chalmette Catholic church provided an authentic interior for the baptismal scene, and the Sicily footage was shot in Belle Chasse, where the levee – filmed at a low camera angle – was used to approximate rolling hills.

The actors assembled on the bridge for his recent Sunday filming listened to Russo as he described the scene they were about to shoot, the ambush murder of Sonny at the toll booth. He directed Vincent Marinello, an attorney who plays Sonny, to “really ham it up” during the death scene.

“I want a real hard dying scene,” Russo said. “When I finally tell you to die, roll over and die and then I still want a little jerk with the leg.”

Since members of the cast have all seen “The Godfather” more than once, they know pretty much what is expected in the various scenes, and directing is minimized.

After a couple of dry runs, Russo filmed the scene in successive takes. Marinello was doused with liberal squirts of catsup from a red squeeze bottle, and to add realism, bullet hole decals were pasted to the windows and body of Sonny’s car.

Production was temporarily halted when the container of decals was upset and its contents swept to the wind. Russo groaned, “I spent two hours last night cutting those out. Did Cecil B. DeMille ever have to go through this?”

Finally the guns were aimed and Sonny clutched his chest, stumbled from the car, staggering from the impact of the imagined bullets, then fell to the ground, rolled over on his back and died a quivering, exaggerated death, his legs jerking a couple of times before he lay still.

Russo shouted “cut!”, and the rest of the cast and onlookers applauded Marinello’s graphic performance.

Russo and his assistant producer, Claude Maraldo, simultaneously shoot all sequences as a safeguard against camera failure and so they can choose the best footage for the finished film.

After finishing at the bridge, the “gangsters” climbed into cars and drove to the French Market; scene of the attempt on the Lardfather’s life (There was more than one wisecrack about Italians frequenting the French Market). Once there, the cast attracted crowds of spectators from among tourists and shoppers.

In this scene, the Lardfather, portrayed by Bill Knowles, is gunned down as he walks to his limousine after buying some fruit.

Knowles, a research and design expert at Avondale Shipyards Inc. and a New Orleans jury commissioner, wore a specially-constructed mouthpiece which makes him a near ringer for Marlon Brando. “My dentist made it (the mouthpiece) identical to the one made for Marlon Brando,” Knowles said. “He saw a picture and description of it in a dental journal.”

Besides giving him a puffed-jowl look, Knowles said, the device hinders his smiling and impedes his speech, aiding his gruff, mumbling characterization of the Lardfather.

For the French Market scene, a real produce dealer was recruited on the spot for the segment. The Lardfather shuffled up to his stand, perused the assortment of fruit and swiped an apple (an ad libbed part) before buying a sack of oranges. (The oranges had been provided ahead of time by Russo who also serves as prop and make-up man.)

While shooting the fruit stand scene, one of the waiting “hit men” was heard to grumble impatient, “Come on, let’s shoot him. I’ve got to go play baseball.”

The Lardfather finally left the market and was slowly making his way to the limousing when he was shot from behind. He lurched backward, then staggered forward, falling on the hood of the limousine and scattering oranges in all directions.

After a second take, Russo announced that filming had ended for the day. As the cast began to leave, one member methodically picked up all the oranges from the pavement, commenting, “This is a low budget movie. This is our lunch.”

TRIVIA: Russo made THE LARDFATHER TOO a few years later.

Mystery Movie: KISS THE TEACHER GOODBYE! (1975)

The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) claims KISS THE TEACHER GOODBYE! is the "promotional title" of TRIP WITH THE TEACHER, but the official Crown International Pictures ad slick above - from the summer of '75 - blasts that theory in the ass by featuring both of those titles on the same triple bill. Please note the lack of an MPAA rating for our mystery movie, a possible tip-off that it isn't rated R like the other two films on the bill. In fact, we have several newspaper ads for KISS THE TEACHER GOODBYE that sport a PG rating, leading us to believe that it's a re-titling of THE YOUNG GRADUATES, a GP-rated Crown release from '71 in which a romance between teacher Tom Stewart and student Patricia Wymer leads to a pregnacy scare and is the catalyst for the latter's runaway road trip to Big Sur. But that's just an educated guess. Anyone know for sure what this is?

One-Sheet of the Week: FUGITIVE KILLER (1974)

FUGITIVE KILLER (1974)

Re-released as FUGITIVE WOMEN

GONE WITH THE POPE at the George Eastman House on May 6th!

Our friends at the George Eastman House have landed one of the very first public showings of Duke Mitchell’s GONE WITH THE POPE (from Grindhouse Releasing), so if you live anywhere near Rochester, N.Y. you’ll want to be at the Dryden Theatre on May 6th for what promises to be a slam-bang great time. We really wish we could attend, especially since the Eastman House very kindly provided us with their archival print of THE NAME OF THE GAME IS KILL for our screening at the Cinefamily last month (and Grindhouse head honcho Bob Murawski was there to show his support), but it just isn't possible. We'll have to catch GONE WITH THE POPE at the Landmark Sunshine in N.Y.C in early June, but for those of you in the Rochester/Syracuse/Buffalo area, we urge you to attend the showing at the GEH, 'cause their Dryden Theatre is a really great venue. You'll find more info on the screening here.

Here's the full schedule of GONE WITH THE POPE playdates so far:

May 6 - George Eastman House, Rochester, NY
May 10 - Doc Films, Chicago
May 15 - Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek, North Austin, TX
May 21 & 22 - E Street Theatre, Washington, D.C.
May 28 & 29 - Bridge Theatre, San Francisco
June 4 & 5 - Sunshine Cinemas, NYC
June 11 & 12 - Uptown Theatre, Minneapolis
June 18 & 19 - Main Art Theatre, Detroit
June 25 & 26 - River Oaks, Houston
July 2 & 3 - Inwood Theatre, Dallas
July 7 - Alamo Drafthouse, Austin, TX
July 23 & 24 - Esquire Theatre, Denver
August 6 & 7 - MADCAP Theaters, Tempe, AZ
August 14 - Tower Theatre, Salt Lake City

Now showing at a shoe store near you!

The now-defunct Edison Brothers Company owned a number of shoe store chains (including Chandlers, Bakers, and Leeds) and had already been a leading retailer for nearly 50 years when, in 1972, they launched a humorous ad campaign that at first appears to have been geared towards hip movie fans but now comes across like an early experiment in meta-advertising. On the surface, the Edison ads were parodies of popular movies, not unlike what Mad, Cracked, National Lampoon and other humor magazines were doing at the time, except that here the parodies are actually being used as legitimate advertising to sell a product that, unless you’re a foot fetishist, falls totally outside the realm of arts & entertainment. However, a closer look reveals something else entirely: that these newspaper ads -- for shoe stores, don’t forget! -- were actually spoofing the newspaper ads of THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE, SUPER FLY, THE TOWERING INFERNO, THE MARATHON MAN, ANNIE HALL and other popular movies of the day by mimicking their fonts, tag lines, billing blocks and artwork. Best of all, Edison had the chutzpah to ride the joke all the way to its logical punchline by “opening” each ad in the weekend movie sections of Friday newspapers, slipped in almost subliminally among real movie ads -- sometimes adjacent to the very same ones they were parodying.

And this wasn’t an occasional publicity stunt, either. Edison ran these ads two or three times a month for nearly 10 years! A few of the movies, like PLAY IT AGAIN SAM, were even spoofed twice.


Some of the ads work brilliantly -- I nearly choked on my bubblegum the first time I saw Edison’s take on THE CANDIDATE -- while others seem like rush jobs or missed opportunities (CLOGGY II), and one or two fall so woefully short of the target that you gotta wonder if the designers had any idea what they were aiming at to start with ("Don Ripples" in EASY STRIDER?). I think my favorite is THE TIE THAT LOVES YOU, which begins with "Wedger More as Tan Funning's 007½B" but then seems to make a bizarre visual reference to SHERLOCK HOLMES IN NEW YORK! I get a kick out of finding new ones (the gallery below is far from complete) and I'm unashamed to admit that the “collect them all” quality of the Edison ads reminds me of the first time I tore into a pack of blue STAR WARS trading cards.

According to Martin K. Sneider, former president and CEO of Edison Brothers (1987-1995) and currently an adjunct professor of marketing at the Olin Business School at Washington University in St. Louis, credit for this unique and entertaining campaign should go to the late Morrie Pearlmutter, who ran the company's advertising department for many years. Bravo, Morrie! We'd like to extend our thanks to Mr. Sneider, whose self-published memoir Toast: How a Leading Retailer Went from Toast of the Town to Just Plain Toast (Four Penny Press, 2009) is now available. You can read more about it here. For more information about the Edison Brothers, check this out.

EDISON BROTHERS AD GALLERY
(A work in progress)


September 22, 1972


September 22, 1972


September 29, 1972


October 6, 1972


October 6, 1972


October 13, 1972


February 23, 1973


April 6, 1973


April 27, 1973


May 11, 1973


August 17, 1973


August 31, 1973


October 12, 1973


October 26, 1973



August 24 & 25, 1974


September 6, 1974


October 11, 1974


October 25, 1974


November 8, 1974


March 14, 1975


March 21, 1975


April 11, 1975


May 2, 1975


May 16, 1975


November 25, 1976


September 2, 1977


September 16, 1977


November 25, 1977


December 9, 1975


May 5, 1978


September 8, 1978


November 10, 1978


March 16, 1979


April 27, 1979


May 25, 1979


August 17, 1979


August 31, 1979

One-Sheet of the Week: REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES (1981)

GOU HUN JIANG TOU / BLACK MAGIC II (1976)

U.S. release in 1981 as REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES