Sunday, October 23, 2016
Movie Ad of the Week: Ed Wood's NECROMANIA (1972-1983)
Saturday, July 13, 2013
The Endangered List (Case File #137)
THE MERMAID (1973)
This may sound a little fishy to you, but the producer swears every word of the story is true. A drunken old salt in a tough waterfront dive relates to the younger seamen present the story of his marriage to a mermaid and the resulting issue of that marriage ... four little barracudas, one-fourth fish and three-fourths human.
A quartet of the listeners believe him and set forth to find the mermaid and her daughters. They do. A fabulous shore dinner ensues.
The sailors dig it, and all ends happily, as it should, with the younger sailors embarking upon the sea of life with their newfound mermaidettes.
For the story behind this obscure nudie cutie, check out David Friedman's audio commentary on the Something Weird DVD of THE ADULT VERSION OF JEKYLL & HIDE.
Friday, April 13, 2012
"Week of Hong" presents HOT CONNECTIONS (1972)
The film's ad art winkingly refers to the female switchboard operators employed by Ma Bell, still pretty much a monopoly in 1972, more than 20 years after an antitrust lawsuit should've ended the bitch's reign of terror. THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST it ain't, but HOT CONNECTIONS smartly uses TPC as a platform for its pro-feminism plotline; in addition to being figuratively screwed by the Bell like everyone else, its own curvier employees are literally (according to the ad below) "Bugged...Tapped...Crossed...Plugged" by The Phone Company's chauvinistic, micromanaging men-in-power.
Enter the militant Marilyn Thaxton (Tallie Cochrane), leader of the Women's Liberation Defense Center.
Her ex-husband happens to be Arnold Thaxton (Christopher Geoffries from TEENAGE JAILBAIT, billed as "Fred Kodel"), a VP at the TPC as well as the company's number one abuser of the female staff.
Arnold’s had affairs with hundreds of phone company gals...
...but when he knocks up one of his employees and then fires her for not getting an abortion, he incurs the wrath of his ex-wife and the Women’s Liberation Defense Center.
The pregnant girl’s name, Mary Collins, is mentioned numerous times during demonstrations and meetings as if she’s a notable public figure, leading us to the conclusion that her character (hardly seen in the movie) is supposed to represent Mary Moore, the first voice of the Bell Telephone Company.
Arnold’s best friend and co-conspirator is dopey middle manager George Hanes, played by John Hayes stock actor Jay Scott, credited as “Billy Busby” (the name of his character in Hayes’ sexploitation western FANDANGO).
The men share a few bad habits, both in and out of the office.
One of these habits is keeping track of how much time the female employees spend in the women’s room and on the telephone with their boyfriends. Here we see the professional manner in which George deals with Angie (Rene Bond).
ANGIE: “Honestly, George, are you still timing my trips to the washroom?!
GEORGE: “This is phone company business and my name is Mr. Hanes!”
ANGIE: “Why don’t you change some of these figures? You’re making me look like I’ve got diarrhea!”
George is married to foxy Cynthia, played by Margie Lanier from FUGITIVE GIRLS (billed as "Marjorie Lane").
She's a member of the Women’s Liberation Defense Center as well, and -- much to George's irritation -- their home is frequently used as the group's meeting place.
Marilyn and Cynthia set out to publicly humiliate Arnold and get him fired from The Phone Company. Their plan? Hire a snooper to snap photos of Arnold balling his latest squeeze, Tiffany (sexy Lynn Harris from THE PICK-UP), enlarge the pics to placard-size and use them in a demonstration outside the TPC building.
The snooper is played by our guest of honor, James Hong.
Oops, sorry -- we mean "James Young."
Hmm. There's also a James Haig credited as producer.
Hong/Young/maybe-Haig tails Arnold to a meeting with George at a shoeshine stand. George tells Arnold about the photos and the Women’s Liberation Defense Center's plan to get him fired.
At this point, Snooper Hong is spotted...
...and the two friends hide behind newspapers until he leaves.
This is a nicely composed shot, with the Bell sign in the top center of the frame, above the shoeshine stand (power-subordination imagery), as director Hong crosses in the foreground, a camera dangling from a strap around his neck.
It makes us wish Hong had directed more features than just the three we know about. HOT CONNECTIONS never reaches the genius plateau of his masterwork, THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR (a.k.a. TEEN LUST), but is still a solid sexploiter with strong performances by the attractive leads, decent camerawork by future director Steve Carver, and a fast, funny script. Other cast members include Elana Casey (CANDY STRIPE NURSES), Starlyn Simone (A CLIMAX OF BLUE POWER), and THE ALL-AMERICAN GIRL'S Peggy Church. The print from Something Weird runs 71 minutes, 14 seconds and appears incomplete, with four minutes of loud distortion on the soundtrack at the one-hour mark. Hopefully a better print will surface eventually.
Thrilling Days of Yesteryear - BAT MASTERSON and CHECKMATE (TV episodes)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Endangered List (Case File #17)
Directed by Albert Zugsmith
Written by Albert Zugsmith and William Maron
Original story by William Maron
Produced by Roger Gentry
Executive Producer: Alfredo Talarewitz
Associate Producer: Susanne Suzan
Starring
Susanne Suzan, Rene Bond, Rick Lutze, Britt Mari
Released by The Fanfare Corporation
Running time: 90 minutes
MPAA rating: R
Re-released as THE HOLLYWOOD RIPPER

Hollywood is under siege by a masked maniac who is terrorizing the city by raping and cutting young girls.
The police have been unable to catch this mad genius of rape and sadism because his method of entrapping or catching the girls is so varied and resourceful.
No girl in Hollywood is safe on the streets or even in their own home from this fiendish monster who chloroforms girls on the street, drags them into his curtained van, manacles them spreadeagled to the sides of the van, rapes them, cuts a bloody swastika into their quivering flesh and dumps their bruised and battered bodies unceremoniously into the gutters.
When the home of AMBER LYTE, beautiful young classified ad taker for the Los Angeles Free Press, is invaded by the masked marauder and AMBER is raped, beaten and cut in her own shower, she decides that she is going to do what the police haven't done -- catch the rapist!
Enlisting the aid of a lovely young girl, SUZANNE SUZAN, the celebrated Swedish beauty, to use psychological means to capture the sadistic fiend, the two young girls set a horrendous trap for the rapist.
Then using a home made electric chair and a blow torch, the girls attempt to torture a confession from the rapist. The action filled, unique true-to-life film is based on a composite of seventeen sadistic rapists from the files of the leading police departments in the United States, where rape is on the continuing increase.




Monday, November 24, 2008
The Endangered List (Case File #4)

Released by Constellation Films (Independent-International Pictures) in 1977 as THE FABULOUS FANNY with a self-imposed X rating
Re-released by Constellation with new scenes as THE BOOB TUBE STRIKES AGAIN! in 1978
LEE FROST says: "It was called THE COMING OF SEYMOUR originally. I was writing RACE WITH THE DEVIL, and some producers had this picture that was the funniest thing they'd ever seen. I went over, met with them, read it, and said, 'OK, I'll tell you what you guys should do – go in your room there, read this script, and circle all the laughs. Every line and situation that gets a laugh or even a chuckle, circle it for me.' They said, 'OK, we'll do that.' They came out about a half an hour later – 'There are none.' I said, 'That's the problem with your picture.' So I rewrote the picture, added some jokes, and shot it. I have no idea what's happened to it."
SAMUEL SHERMAN says: "We had a picture called THE COMING OF SEYMOUR. It was a sexy, soft X picture, probably one of the best of those pictures. Very funny, very sexy, very cute. Connie Hoffman was in it – she was a friend of ours who had been in our stewardess pictures. I put that thing out as THE FABULOUS FANNY, because it was a take-off on [the comic strip character] Little Annie Fanny from Playboy. We couldn't give that thing away! There was nothing we could do to sell that picture."
THE FABULOUS FANNY -- radio spot
Who's America's most adorable X-rated sweetheart?
[Crowd answers: "WHO?"]
Why, it's Fanny of course!
[Sound effects: Applause, cheering]
The girl of your wacky comic strip dreams is now on the screen in the new adult comedy movie, THE FABULOUS FANNY!
It's a zany spoof all about a boy who finds out too late that his entire teenage years were just spent in a wasted fantasy – a crazy fantasy called Fanny! Cute, blonde, and oh so adorably sexy. But she's just a comic character – or is she?
THE FABULOUS FANNY!
The movie that answers the question, "Can you take a bath in peanut butter and enjoy it?"
[Sound effect: BOING!]
Tell your troubles to the fabulous Fanny! The sweetest gal in town!
It's all in fun, in the new wild comedy, THE FABULOUS FANNY!
In color, from Constellation Films, rated X for adults!

SAMUEL SHERMAN says: "We went ahead and re-shot some of it with the producers and made it into THE BOOB TUBE STRIKES AGAIN because THE BOOB TUBE had been a big hit for us. Well, lightning wouldn't strike a second time, and that died too. We ended up giving it back to the producers."
From the pressbook of THE BOOB TUBE STRIKES AGAIN!
CAST
Alan Spitz (Seymour)
Murphy Cross (Zelda)
Diane Sommerfield (H.T. Washington)
Connie Marie a.k.a. Connie Hoffman (Fanny)
Paula Mitchell (Louise)
Angela Field a.k.a. Angela Carnon (Dr. Clitstone)
Peter Dane (Lawyer)
Ken Scott (Rabbi)
Honey Saunders (Mother)
Patrice Rohmer (Sandy)
Cindy Arnold (Rabbi's Girl)
Lee O'Donell (Quasi)
and
Kelly Patten, Christine Burk, Joyce Mandel, Rene Bond
and Signe Johnson
as
The Party Girls
Produced by Wes Bishop
Screenplay by Cass Martin and Norman Spelvin
Director of Photography: Mark Wade
Film Editor: John Hayes
Production Manager & Assistant Director: Carl Olsen
Sound Mixer: Art Names
Still Man: Ken Scott
Music Supervisor: Igo Kantor
Script Supervisor: Karen Arthur
Set Decorator: Schotzie Barron
Property Master: Richard Schuyler
Wardrobe: Donna Allen
Technical Advisor: Orla Rivers
Makeup: Ray Sebastian
Key Grip: Jack Oliver
Grip: Phillip Hoover
Boom Man: Lee O'Donnell
Production Assistant: Cass Martin
Casting: Don Chastain
Running Time: 87 minutes
A Constellation Films Inc. release
Seymour thoroughly enjoys his attempts to impregnate as many beautiful women as possible, but each time he is unable to reach that million dollar climax. Potency does not let him down – it just keeps him from his riches.
Not until Terri, the girl next door, learns about his secret love is it possible for Seymour and the impossible dream to come together.
The star of "THE BOOB TUBE STRIKES AGAIN" is 23-year-old Alan Spitz, a talented new discovery whose previous film credits include "HESTER STREET" and "NEXT STOP, GREENWICH VILLAGE." Alan, as the young man with a "big problem," had the unique opportunity to work with Hollywood's most attractive new starlets, several of whom have graced the pages of PLAYBOY magazine.
[Lee Frost quotes from an interview I did that appeared in Shock Cinema magazine]





























