Hey you. You in the raincoat.
Yeah -- you. Come here.
Wanna know the secrets of sex? Well, it’s right here in this DVD. And it’s hot.
No, not stolen, I mean HOT.
Well, yeah, kind of, only it’s not French -- it’s British. It’s from Richard Gordon, the same guy who went to Italy and brought back THE PLAYGIRLS AND THE VAMPIRE for us.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. That’s what I mean by hot.
How hot? OK, it starts with a quote from Milton’s Paradise Lost, but don’t panic, it’s the same exact quote Mary Shelley used at the beginning of Frankenstein. You know, Adam says to God, “Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay…” yadda yadda yadda, but then it cuts right to what David Friedman refers to as “pickles and beaver.” Yep, it’s kind of an art film, but also a softcore sex flick.
Oh, and I almost forgot. It’s narrated by a talking mummy.
To read the rest of Chris Poggiali's liner notes, buy BIZARRE on DVD from Synapse Films!