Movie Ad of the Week: DON'T JUST LAY THERE (1970)

Advertised as "The ultimate climax," the softcore sex flick DON'T JUST LAY THERE -- directed by character actor Phillip Pine (the first Colonel Green on STAR TREK), with music by Martin Margulies (a.k.a. Johnny Legend) -- started making the rounds in September 1970. Because the storyline has something to do with young people being murdered by a mysterious character known as "Zodiac," it was re-released a couple of years later with a new ad campaign that made it look like a horror movie, with a tag line added to cash in on the then-current Zodiac murders in northern California (Cast member Kathy Hilton also appeared in the softcore THE ZODIAC COUPLES around the same time). The ad above is from the Tucson, Arizona opening on February 23, 1973. The one below is from Cedar Rapids, Iowa on April 5, 1974.

Pressbook Synopsis

The people in DON’T JUST LAY THERE have the right idea. Their lifestyle is centered around an unstoppable, rarely quenchable, and often wildly perverted thirst for sex. One ordinary, passion-ridden day they find themselves thrust into a bizarre, chaotic nightmare world of mystery, murder, and drugs.

Billie Starr, an avant-garde erotic photographer, has been given an interesting assignment by a mysterious nameless employer. In attempting to gather her models and assistants, she finds it difficult to get them to stop their sexual antics long enough to be captured on film. Eve, her lesbian-playmate and model, requires an arousing morning "burst" which she achieves through the use of an electric vibrator and Billie's soothing description of their next torrid affair. Sloan, her photographic assistant, begins his day with grass, acid and a little "peeping torn" action on his table telescope. Rock, the handsome male model, is busy practicing various diagrammed sexual positions with a beautiful black playmate.

Billie finally gathers them all and, together with Rusty (the sensual brunette stripper) and Ion (the groovy, energetic black non-stop humper) they set out on their journey to a secluded mountain camp to photograph an astrology-oriented sexual lay-out. While on the freeway on the way to the camp, the grass flows freely and Rock busies himself on top of Eve. This hilarious sequence shows the reactions of several "straight" passers-by who have an incredibly clear view of Rock's activity. One middle-aged man becomes so wildly "turned on" while watching that he forgets himself and runs into a pole.

Billie and company finally arrive at the camp and are greeted by Creighton, an eerie, often funny caretaker with strange sexual fantasies. They busy themselves around the picturesque countryside, shooting acts of intercourse in dozens of unique positions. Many of the events which take place are seen from Sloan's distorted, colorfully erotic, drugged point of view.

After the day's shooting, the group gathers in their cabin for a wild party. Rusty begins a breath-taking, rhythmic "dance of erotica". The party activity reaches a fever pitch. Suddenly, Rusty's ecstatic movements become a macabre "dance of death" as she ominously freezes and falls to the ground. While the others stand helplessly, a voice from a hidden tape recorder greets them. They learn that they are to be the guests of a sinister unseen host who calls himself Zodiac; and that they are to die, one by one.

The group panics as the avenues of escape are cut off one by one. Creighton is found dead. Zodiac mockingly speaks to them once more, reminding them of their fate. As they feel the creeping fingers of death closing in on them, they frantically seek refuge and escape in violent outbursts of sexuality. The murderer could be any one of them.

Eve and Billie cling to each other on a haystack in a tragic, absurdly classical moment of happiness. The murders continue. The film reaches a surprising, lavish, revealing climax which includes a staggering, slow-motion rape sequence and an awe-
inspiring dream-like orgy in which the murderer is confronted sexually by all of his victims.

This film displays a captivating blend of realistic sexual honesty and offbeat campish melodrama. Also included in the film: an original musical score from a soon-to-be released soundtrack album which features "Don't Just Lay There", "Five Fingered Lover", "Humpin', U.S.A.", "If I Should Spread Before I Die", "Ecstasy in Death", "Play Another Lick For Me", and other exciting music from the film, definitely the best music, lyrics, and score ever created for the wildest, funniest, sexploitation film of any year.